After reading David Hepworth’s ‘50 odd gigs’ I couldn’t resist trying my own list. I haven’t seen as much live music as I could have and it was a real struggle to get to fifty, and I had to be a bit cheaty and use a few festivals and support acts, but I’ve only mentioned stuff I could say something about.
1. Kunt & The Gang, in some Soho pub, 2009 – impressed that he did the entire set via plugging his iPod into the PA, and selecting each backing track with his thumb. Thereby freeing him from the expense of splitting profits with a band or hiring a van and equipment. Canny.
2. MJ Hibbett, Venue 205, 2008 – Hibbett was doing his “my exciting life in rock” autobiographical show. It was funny and great and reminded me of Guy Pratt’s book My Bass & Other Animals.
3. Seven Seconds of Love, Dublin Castle 2005 – Joel was asked by his agent’s wife why he swore so much on stage, and it was suggested that a cleaner mouthed Veitch would be more successful.
4. Youth of Britain, Dublin Castle 2005 – for the encore I shouted that they should play Beer, Beer, Beer, the track written by me and recorded by the band as a favour. Daniele Davoli, their keyboardist laughed and shouted back “fuck off Rob.”
5. Lemar, T in the Park, 2004 – did a sweetly sung version of The Darkness’s I Believe In A Thing Called Love that made me realise Justin Hawkins is a sincere little songwriter hiding behind comedy outfits.
6. Graham Coxon, Kentish Town Forum, 2004 – he played much of his “Happiness in Magazines” album and the seats were sticky. Some of his younger fans looked like members of The Libertines.
7. Miles Hunt, Resonance FM, 2003 – when we used to run B3ta radio we got Miles in with his guitar. He sang Circle Square and was very nice and mentioned his girlfriend sang my I love you kitten song on his answerphone.
8. Duran Duran, Wembly, 2003 – the reunion line-up. Guitarist Andy Taylor stands on a different part of the stage and appears to be in an entirely different band to the rest of them. And in a couple of years he is. Surly Taylor and sweaty Simon Le Bon gaves us lol fodder for literally months afterwards.
9. Sisters of Mercy, Kentish Town Forum, 2002 – Eldritch’s set consisted of dry ice, a tape recorder and two turnips throwing rock poses on guitar. A mid 20s fan, all on his own, wearing a leather jacket, one leather glove and a bandaged arm mouthed all the lyrics.
10. Pulp, Brixton, 2001 – around the time of the unconvincing “We love life” campaign. They were knackered and the fun was gone.
11. Rockbitch, London, November 2001 – naked gothy women playing bad metal. Holding guitar with your minge hanging out doesn’t make women look elegant.
12. Toby Slater, The Monarch, 2000 – Toby wore bandages over his hands which worringly suggested he’d been self harming.
13. Duran Duran, Wembley, 2000 – reduced to a duo of Simon Le Bon & Nick Rhodes it was a lacklustre affair. There were flyers up for a fan meeting called after a B-Side “Secret Oktober” which might be fun if menopausal women are your thing.
14. Robbie Williams, Wembley, 2000 – I wasn’t that bothered about going but had free tickets as I was working on his website. He made disparaging remarks about Liam Gallagher & Nicole Appleton on stage and played such a stunning gig that I left almost a fan.
15. Crispian Mills, supporting Robbie Williams, 2000 – his sound was mixed so low that I could hardly hear him. But from the look of it, he was giving it his all. Poor chap.
16. Miranda Sex Garden, The Monarch, 2000 – a reformed line up, not that it matters to me as I never knew them back in the day anyway. Singer Katharine Blake kept making references to a sugar daddy giving me the distinct impression that they can afford to put on a show thanks to the patronage of an old git she’s having sex with.
17. Beck, Reading festival, 2000 – he didn’t stop dancing. It was like watching Prince. One of the best performers I’ve seen. Shame he’s a scientologist.
18. Black Box Recorder, Reading festival, 2000 – singer Sarah Nixey had a crap barcode tattoo on her arm. I didn’t notice what Luke Haines was doing as she was quite pretty.
19. Elastica, Reading festival, 2000 – Justine hopped around trying to gee up a tired band who were having none of it.
20. 2K, Barbican centre, 1997 – every nerd in London turned up for the KLF’s comeback event. We were given t-shirts and bags and went home feeling elated but confused.
21. Hothouse Flowers, Barbican centre, 1997 – some kind of reunion gig, it might have been billed under the singer’s name – I forget now. I was dragged there by some Irish guys I once knew – Greg, if you read this, get in touch.
22. Orbital, Wolverhampton Civic, 1997 – They played a ravey version of Belinda Carlisle’s Heaven Is A Place On Earth. The place errupted.
23. Garbage, Reading Festival, 1996 – Shirley Manson kept squatting down and grinding over her microphone, like a stripper.
24. Sonic Youth, Reading Festival, 1996, a sound like an orchestra of vacuum cleaners. I left the field before it made me go insane.
25. Kula Shaker, Reading Festival, 1996 – played a version of best Beatles b-side ever, Rain. They rocked. Not a fashionable opinion I know.
26. The Divine Comedy, Wolverhampton Civic, 1996 – after every song the crowd asked him to play the Father Ted song, “My Lovely Horse”, which he refused. The boring twat.
27. Stone Roses, Reading Festival, 1996 – final disastrous gig before they split. I witness a fan stomping his Reni hat into the mug shouting, “what the fuck has happened to the Stone Roses?”
28. The Prodigy, Reading Festival 1996 – Very stop / start with the beat.
29. Julian Cope, Reading Festival, 1996 – played a really enjoyable greatest hits set that won over an unsure crowd. Big silly hat helped.
30. Black Grape, Reading Festival 1996 – it was rumoured Shaun wouldn’t show because of a fatal overdose.
31. Marcella Detroit, Wolvestock, 1996 – an extremely out of place appearence for this ex- Shakespear’s Sister, in a free festival in Wolverhampton. She was jeered at and was a bit arsey with the crowd.
32. My Life Story, Wolvestock, 1996 – riding high on their almost hit “12 reasons why I love her” they did a lively pop show with lots of pretty girls playing violins and someone running around the stage holding up placards for the lyrics.
33. Ozric Tentacles, Wolvestock, 1996 – smelly crusties cheered. The only act playing that day that had a real following in the crowd.
34. Dinosaur JR, Wolverhampton Poly, 1995 – played so loud my teeth vibrated. Only recognised one song – their cover of The Cure’s Just Like Heaven.
35. Mega City Four, Wolves Poly, 1994 – some bloke spent the entire gig spitting at their singer Wiz.
36. The Orb, Leeds University, 1992 – There were lots of lights, and students pretending to be on pills – most of them were probably on cider – but nothing to see on stage.
37. Spiritualised, Wolverhmapton, 1992 – Their music was so slow most people sat down cross legged, except 1 guy down the front who did Bez-style baggy dancing. Future wife of Richard Ashcroft was on the keyboards, sporting, what my sister would have once called “an inverted plait”.
38. Sunscream, Leeds University, 1992 – bloke asked me after the gig what I thought of it, trying to be clever I said “about as relevant as Saxon”, chappy then tells me he’s the keyboard player and wanders off.
39. Five Thirty, Wolverhampton, 1991 – Short, wore very tight sixties style trousers and were very rock and roll.
40. Chapterhouse, 1991 – stared at their shoes and chubby teenage girls cooed at the front.
41. The Catherine Wheel, Wolverhampton, 1991 – I chatted to the singer Rob Dickinson in the loo and he said my questions were like a journalist’s. At the time I thought that was a compliment, in retrospect I could read it differently.
42. The Wonder Stuff, Aston Villa Liesure Center, 1989 – the last gig the Rob “The Bass Thing” Jones played. Miles Hunt kept hugging him during the gig – I don’t think he wanted him to leave. Jones died a few years later of a heroin overdose.
43. Wrath Child, Wolverhampton Civic, 1989 – hair metal glam rockers – they pulled some poor guy out of the audience and made him get naked. He had a very small penis.
44. PWEI, Aston Villa Liesure Center, 1989 – a member of the band had broken his leg and had this great electric chair that rose to the ceiling. That’s how to do it.
45. The Cure, Birmingham NEC, 1990 – so many people, boys and girls, dressed as Robert Smith. If I had a camera and a time machine I’d love to see a few photos of this.
46. Jesus and Mary Chain, Hummingbird, Birmingham, 1989 – I remember the intro tape better than the short set – they played the wonderous John Trubee’s Blind Man’s Penis.
47. The Perfect Disaster, Hummingbird Birmingham, 1989 – there was this song “time to kill” where every phrase was time this, and time that. Hearing the studio version for the first time today it’s a lot less goth than I remember.
48. Fields of the Nephilim, Hummingbird Birmingham, 1988 – attracted an older than I was used to crowd (I was 14) and I found it a bit frightening. Including someone with a spiders web tattoed on their face. The mosh pit was violent and people were chanting for a song called “Power” which the band refused to play.
49. Popstars R.I.P, Finchfield, 1988 – the first and only time I attempted a gig, we played a friend’s front room, I had such a panic attack, I spent the whole time tuning my guitar. Nobody ever suggested we should play again.
50. The Waterboys, Hummingbird, Birmingham, 1988 – first ever gig I went to, didn’t really know the band but a girl from school wanted to go. She wandered off when we got there and I danced alone.
