I couldn’t bring myself to write some crap about “woo yay kittens” just to get some people on the internet to like it so I thought I’d try and write something true about our own cat Rocky. He’s extremely violet and a mixed blessing. Generally people go “aww Rocky” stroke him for a minute and then he brutally savages them and that’s that.

The video contains a shot of what is known locally as Suicide Bridge – a legendary bridge in Archway which people occasionally throw themselves off – I popped up there to get the shot on the pretence of buying lunch. My father grew up nearby and claims to have witnessed a girl jump off in the 50s but he does like a story.

The video was recorded by walking around my flat with a stills camera and a copy of the lyrics – I photographed anything relevant then edited it together. My little rule I set myself was that I couldn’t leave the house and everything had to be shot via my camera. So for lines I was stuck for visuals I photographed some websites.

During the production I drew a number of animated gifs to serve as end level things – basically to increase the references to internet culture within the game. Thought I’d post them up here because I’m sort of proud of how crap they are.

Numa Numa

Rick Astley

Chocolate Rain

Keyboard Cat

KHAAAN!!!

Leave Britney Alone!

Leek spin (not meat spin)

MR T eats balls

O RLY?

I Can Has Cheezburger?

Anyway. Play the game.

But then Word Magazine got in touch and I had to say yes as A. I’m a subscriber and have read pretty much every issue since launch and it’s hugely flattering to be in something like this and B. It’s run/staffed by a number of people I’ve worked with in the past including David Hepworth (sub to his blog on RSS you won’t regret it) and more recently Fraser Lewry.

The interviewed was conducted by James Medd – who I think should write a book about red hair as his Guardian feature on the subject was great, and photography by Muir Vidler – who in himself is a very interesting chap currently putting together a series of photos of contradictory people, e.g. a Jewish person with a swastika tattoo.

Anyway – you’ll have to clicky a few times to make this big enough to read.

Photoshoot

I had a fun photoshoot with Muir Vidler – he encouraged me to pull silly faces which is pretty much how I entertain my wife so it wasn’t too hard.

You can see the rest of the photoshoot here – which at the very least should give the b3tans some new material the next time they want to photoshop me chained to a radiator and being pissed upon.

BTW: The downside of this feature is that I wasn’t able to read this issue of Word – everytime I picked up the magazine I was flooded with anxiety and put it down again. Hope I didn’t miss anything good that month. Thankfully normal service has resumed and Word have stopped producing issues with me in them.

Another I Spot produced for E4 with David Stevenson – actually probably my favourite of the lot – I remember writing the first draft in a frantic two hours of typing – ranting about all the geeks I knew. Jilly Cooper, in her book Class, wrote some great stuff about how the layers of social class are like the stripes on rugby shirt that’s been in the wash. Where the colours bleed into each other there’s the most friction. I’m like that with nerd culture, I’m screaming “I’m not as geeky as THESE people” when I very nearly am.

Anyway – we produced it nearly 18 months ago and it’s only gone live now, so if there’s no references to iPads then you’ll know why.

http://www.e4.com/wtf/fanboys/index.html

My penis brings all the girls to the yard
Woke up one Sunday morning with this in my head. Not that you’ll want to think of me with a morning glory as that would turn your stomach. So I nicked some comedy cock gifs off the b3ta board to make it into a tribute to b3ta and not an icky celebration of my love torpedo. BTW: It’s on vimeo because youtube booted it. The spoilsports.

You Are a Spamming Cunt
Produced to post on the b3ta links board when we get spammed.

I feel awkward when blokes talk sport
I was walking the kids to school and thinking about how I can’t drive and started writing some lyrics about the subject. Thought about how cars are a classic male conversation which lead me onto the ultimate bloke conversation I never feel part of: football. Lucy drew the characters for the video.

Here’s some selected videos of the performances:

Boyce Bailey

www.boycebailey.com

Bovine

www.richardtingley.co.uk

Joel Veitch

www.rathergood.com

Richard Tyrone Jones

www.utterspokenword.com

Mushybees

www.mushybees.com

Robert Auton

www.myspace.com/robertauton

Kunt and the Gang



www.kuntandthegang.co.uk

Other people who performed included Joel Veitch, Nick J, Mike Rampton and David Stevenson, but they’re all too shy for their work to be stuck on youtube.

BTW: I enjoyed myself making the crap jingles.

A song / video produced for JibJab by me and Dave. This is the second version (they hated the first version), and I thought up the rough idea for the video in Old Street tube station 1hr before the first Sickipedia night. I was waving my fingers around going, “it could be like this!”. For the actual production Dave drew some lovely kittens, we stuck them to his hands and I tried to keep the camera still so I’d be able to edit it together. BTW: My favourite line in this is “Happy Birthday, it’s catty purrday!” which comes from a joke I have with my 4 year old son about giving our cat Rocky a birthday.

Watch ‘Birthday Cats’

Alien at the Bottom of the Garden

To support a Channel 4 TV program Generation XXL – about overweight children – C4 asked me to produce a tamagotchi style game on didn’t mock the subject matter. A pretty difficult brief for me so I dragged in Matt Round and it was his brilliant insight that making the main character an alien would solve many of the problems. Well done Matt!

Play ‘Alien at the Bottom of the Garden’

Ego press – not sure why but there was a tiny flurry of mentions of B3ta and myself in the press at the end of 2009.

• B3ta listed in The Guardian’s 100 essential websites. They’re pretty accurate in their write-up too: “B3TA Beyond classification; its forum has spawned many memes … and more than its fair share of trolls.”
• 5 British web celebs more important than Stephen Fry – according to The Mirror, this includes me. My wife took the piss out of this so long, and so hard that she actually made me some mockery crockery to deflate a potentially engorged ego.
• Revolution Magazine’s Future 50 – thanks to the inspirational Rory Sutherland I get a mention in this list of “marketers, authors, entrepreneurs, and thinkers who will shape the digital industry of tomorrow.” Ego overload! BTW: Rory – best known as the Executive Creative Director at Ogilvy – did a great talk at TED called Life Lessons from an Adman, you should watch it.

The night that should NEVER happen is back…

With the first one being a success, the Ents Manager, Russ Tannen has invited us back. To be honest I’m shitting myself even more the second time around – I spent most of the time with my head in my hands going, “please don’t say anything that’ll get me beaten up and thrown out.”

Sticking people on stage is anxiety making in the extreme. Will these people sink? Will these people swim? How do I get people on and off stage effectively? How do I stop people who who hog the mic and won’t go? Last time I was advised to use a torch in peoples eyes which was as about effective as a mouse going squeak.

So the plan is as before – ask the B3tans and Sickipedians (and anyone reading really) who fancies doing a 5 minute turn. People who have never tried this before are welcome, so get in touch asap if you fancy it.

• Location – The Old Blue Last, 38 Great Eastern Street, Shoreditch, London, EC2A 3ES. Google map.
• Date – 8pm, weds, 9th December
• Nearest tube: Old Street
• Capacity, about 100
• Facebook event

The Line Up So Far…

Mushy Bees (returning) – triumphant from his debut at the first comedy night we did, is our favourite arty tranny. We also invited Mushy to our birthday but he can’t make it as he proved so popular at the first night he’s got a booking that clashes. Still, he can make our comedy night and that’s the important thing. mushybees.com

Dan Pearce (new) – Aged 27 and from London, ‘Reason I am doing this: A drunk conversation with mates where I might have said “how hard can stand-up actually be?’ So now I am going to be made to eat my words!”

Boyce Bailey (new) “I’m 34. I work for a financial training company doing design. I like to brew cider, which doesn’t come out half a rough as you’d expect. It’s better than all pub and shop bought stuff. If you can cook, you can brew.”

Michael J (new) – “I’m 18, from Hertfordshire and still at school but work part time in a newsagents.”

David Stevenson (returning) – I work with David doing both B3ta projects (he co-writes the newsletter), and also Dave does a lot of illustration stuff on the other commercial work I do. Dave also is doing the comedy circuit and can be found most weeks in various London clubs. www.david-stevenson.com.

Jewish Nazi (returning) – “I’m a fencing erecter – neither Jewish or Nazi but I am circumsized and have a swastika scarred into my left butt cheek.”

Joel Veitch (returning) – of rathergood.com fame, Joel promises to do ruder jokes this time as last time he was concerned that we were filming it and was worried about what might end up on Youtube. To be clear, if we film anything then we will put nothing online unless we have the individuals express permission. www.rathergood.com.

tricyclic_looper (returning) – “born in the cultural wasteland of Essex, and currently resides in the literal wasteland of East London. After discovering the sick joke website Sickipedia, he found a convenient receptacle in which to pour his bile, hatred and rampant misanthropy with disturbingly compulsive regularity. tricyclic_looper hopes his return to the jungles of Shoreditch will be less ignominious than Jordan’s.” View sickipedia profile.

Nick James (new) – “Londoner. Late twenties, late developer, latent homosexual. I went to the first Sickipedia night and had a laugh at some of the acts. I thought I could probably do better than some of the others though.” He he – the challenge is on!

Richard Tingley (new) – best known to me as Bovine from the B3ta boards, Richard has recently been running a video blog which with it’s mixture of jokes and confessional I’m finding rather compelling. I reckon there’s a independent film in it somewhere. Very pleased Richard has agreed to join in our silly plans. Watch Richard on Youtube.

Robert Auton (new) – “I’m a stand up poet. I’m 27. I live in Walthamstow. I shared a dressing room with Lionel Blair at this years Edinburgh festival, an experience I will take to the grave with me.”

Jay Rolfe (new) – “I’m 23 and from Surrey” writes Jay. He also works in TV as a runner.

Jeremy Gomez (new) – “40s, Brick Lane, Minicab driver, learnt English by listening to Radio 4.”

Mike Rampton (new) – “I’m 26, a journalist, and in London. I used to be called mike on b3ta way back in the day.”

David Schaal (new) – “Just for your information, I play Jay’s dad Terry Cartwright in The Inbetweeners.”

If YOU fancy doing a turn then please get in touch ASAP with me at robmanuel at gmail dot com

Today he’s sent me four lovely videos. (He recorded many more but I don’t want to swamp you with this stuff.)

Mushy Bees

First up is Mushy Bees who did an extraordinary act that was the magic combination of being both original and funny. He’s never been on stage before and you can commission him to do his lovely art work via his site.

Richard Tyrone Jones

Richard is an old hand at this stuff and also has a book out. Richard did two short sets, I particularly loved the first but he doesn’t want it online so I’m going with the second. You can also stalk him via his facebook page.

Tricyclic Looper

Tric is one of our highest scoring sickipedian who crafts all his own gags on the site. He’s also dreadfully interesting to talk to about what makes gags vote highly. Read his jokes here.

Wylis

Wylis came down all the way from Leeds to join us. Read his jokes here.

I thought a reasonable half-measure would be to stick up some of the messages I’ve written for the journalists who got in touch.

CHORTLE

First off there was Jay Richardson who wrote the original (and most upsetting) item for Chortle. This was a hatchet job produced by Jay emailing me, not telling me his intentions and getting his quotes by subterfuge. With journalism there’s something called a “right to reply” which means if someone writes a highly critical story they should tell you about it before publication and give you an opportunity to defend yourself. Anyway – a copy of the original emails between us are here. On reflection – I’m sure Jay Richardson’s intentions were noble – he’s was just trying to help his friends – but it was at my expense so I have to flag it.

THE INDEPENDENT

Chris Green of the Independent wrote a much fairer story presenting both sides clearly. The comments I gave him were:

It’s really unfortunate what’s happened with Gary Delaney. I apologise fully for the behaviour of some of our sites users.

We run a public forum for gags – and, like any user-submitted content site, this has plusses and minuses. It’s completely great that there’s this big pile of amusing (and often stomach churning) material for all to read but occasionally stuff turns up that gives us nightmares.

Mostly we try and be hands off – we allow the users to vote stuff up and down. Anything that’s voted down too much drops off the site.

Our members feel that us poking around too much and overriding their democratic decisions is damaging to the site. So if stuff is removed they have a habit of posting it straight back on – it’s called the Streisand effect – where the internet routes around what it sees as damage or censorship.

When Gary got in touch we didn’t know what to do about his complaint as it was the first of its kind and we worried about it: that if we did as we were asked we’d just create a bigger problem.

Hence I advised Gary to contact the person who was submitting his material himself as I hoped they might work it out between themselves.

This hands-off moderation strategy proved to be the wrong approach as I believe Gary didn’t get what he wanted.

So then – being unsure of the best way to proceed – we acted on Gary’s request and deleted the material ourselves, big mistake. As we feared, the community saw his jokes being removed as an attack on their free speech and reacted awfully.

We learnt from this and worked with Gary to find a solution that allows people to attribute jokes. Obvious in retrospect, really. Gary now tells us he’s happy with this solution. Thank god.

I’ve also apologised privately to Gary for allowing my uncertainty of how to deal with this delay a solution.

- what action has your site taken to prevent unattributed jokes appearing?

All jokes now have the option of being attributed by anyone who reads them. The principle – like Wikipedia – many eyes keep things accurate.

But I’d like to stress the site is set up to collect the jokes that do the rounds in pubs etc, and not to step on the toes of comics on the club circuit.

However as our site evolved over the last 3 or 4 years we’ve found that many of our contributors spend hours crafting their own material, and find it extremely valuable to test it out via our site.

- what are your views on plagiarism in comedy? Is a joke public property as soon as it’s said in a gig, or should it remain the property of the comic?

Web marketing people call stuff that self-propagates as viral. Jokes are the original viral. They get thought up, they mutate and they get passed around via speech and leap-frog onto whatever the current technology is of the day.

This is true of jokes thought up by comics who work in the industry and also ordinary people – a witty line or comic observation is part of everyday discourse for people, the vast majority of whom don’t work in the comedy industry.

We’re interested in these people – letting them share their jokes with a bigger audience than just their chums.

- Also, is it true that Sickipedia’s hosting its own comedy night tonight in Shoreditch?

Yes, we have 12 or so comics on many of whom haven’t been on stage before and some who’ve honed their craft by inventing one-liners for Sickipedia.

Simply some guy who works in a pub who’s a fan of the website emailed me and said, “what about doing a comedy night?” I thought no, then yes, it would be really fascinating to stick these untried web comics on stage and see what they do. Can someone who can turn a phrase on a web browser get on stage?

So I said yes – and it’s absolutely devastating that this simple let’s do something for shits and giggles is getting confused with a moderation dispute. I’m literally getting panic attacks now that this has turned into a press story.

SUNDAY TIMES

My replies to David Schneider – yep, him off the telly – writing for The Sunday Times. David is an extremely reasonable man and I feel a bit of a shit pre-empting his story by publishing the comments I gave to him. UPDATE: Ooh he’s emailed and said it’s fine. Phew.

My top line is simply, “We had a problem, Gary got in touch to complain. We were crap at fixing it quickly, but we did fix it. Gary agreed that he was happy with the solution. I’ve also apologised to Gary.”

But in more detail….

Sickipedia like having an old dog you keep in the garden that occasionally escapes and bites the neighbour’s kids. And then, while you’re apologising, it’s behind them, shitting in their garden. But you can’t actually put it down because it’s your dog and you’re weirdly fond of it.

The problem arises from a clash of cultures. Sickipedia is born from a more public “let’s swap jokes” vibe that anyone who’s ever sat in a pub with a load of blokes will know about. Its intention was not to step on the toes of comics – in fact I was barely aware of the comic circuit until very recently.

However as the size of the site has grown – and in three or four years years it’s grown from a single thread on the b3ta messageboard to a site that gets over 7 million page views per month – we’ve found ourselves butting heads with a number of people I’d never expect to come into contact with. It was a bit of a shock and we weren’t quite sure how to handle it.

Also, as the site has expanded, a wonderful thing has happened. It’s become – not just a place for people to swap rotten old jokes – but also a place for people to write and test out new material. (I can put you in touch with a handful of interesting, articulate people who use the site this way, should you be interested.)

And this is what breaks my heart – our mad, weird, funny little website full of creative people, comedy fans and people I’d frankly be scared to meet in a dark alley is being painted with the paint of one colour: plagiarists.

Comedy nights: I like saying yes to opportunity – most of my life is pretty routine. Having a cup of tea with a fancy biscuit is about as showbiz as I get. On a day-to-day basis I help my wife look after the kids and run internet projects from my home office with my school-friend Dave. So when the Ents manager of a pub emails me and says do you want to put on a comedy night, after a bit of anxiety wrestling (I have no experience, and hadn’t even watched a live comic in years) I figure my life will be more interesting if I say yes.

So I stick out a message online and see who wants to turn up. The pitch is simple – see 12 or so guys, many of whom who’ve never stood on stage before and only written gags on a website. Will they sink or swim? I’d want to see that.

The night was last Tuesday and it was a roaring success – not only did so many people turn up we had to turn them away – people came up to me who know the open-mic circuit said it was like nothing they’d ever seen and they’d love it. The key difference I think was the audience – they weren’t a traditional comedy audience who go to live gigs, they were fans of the website up for a party.

And our acts – well amongst my favourites was Mushy Bees – a truly unique act, someone who’s never been on stage before but deserves to go far should he wish to pursue it. His act was basically being a full-on transvestite, a gruff voice, whilst showing hand-drawn caricatures of celebs with rude poems… Well, see for yourself. A professional camera guy, Joe Rigby, thought what we were attempting was so interesting that he got in touch and offered to film it for free (with the permission of the acts!). Check the video here.

And finally…

The other name that gets rather overlooked in all this mess is Ross ‘Teddy’ Craig who also had a similarly crap experience of Sickipedia. Sorry Ross. SORRY ROSS.