The brief is basically to bring in some noisy toys and witter about them for two 5 minute slots.

The trick? Send emails to the usual suspects (Firebox and Iwoot) and blag some gear. I mentioned this to a journalist the other day and she said, “Shit! Don’t give away the trade secrets!”

Good Vibrations

First off we talked about a USB massager, which unsurprisingly plugs into your PC and then vibrates. Maybe it cures backpain, but the best thing is that the vibrations make it walk across the desk. I imagine you could also use it on your sex-bits.

DIY Cylons

My second item goes down better, as I’d brought it in as an excuse to tell a little story that had happened to me:

“I didn’t want to keep my wife and son awake by reading into the night, so I looked about to buy a torch I could strap to my head. A bit of ebaying later, no problem, I find one. The only problem? Wearing it attracted moths to my head. I even poked my own eye trying to swat one.”

Anyway, it mainly goes down well as wearing it makes me look like a complete arsehat.

Let the drums do the talking

Ah! The USB Finger Drums. What can you say about this? It’s just a good novelty to play with.

And so it’s time for a break and they play another record whilst I set up my final item.

Turn Turn Turn

Found this item and I just went “yeah! this’ll work for a 6 Music audience.” What self-respecting 30 something geek with a huge record collection wouldn’t want a USB turn table?

Actually the best bit about this, is that I went for a coffee after the show and left the deck outside the cafe when I grabbed a taxi. I had to make the cabbie drive back to get it. “Bleeding ‘ell you were lucky mate” was what I heard all the way home.

Any other business

• Jupitus played Suedehead by Morrissey as I finished up, a more paranoid or egotistical person than I would think the opening lyrics “Why do you come here? And why do you hang around?” might have been picked for mischief.
• I was told off for not bringing a list of links in. Bad me, hence I’m making a big fat blog post here to make up for it.
• I asked if I could plug my book sometime, and was told, “You can plug it, but not here” Gah!

Link round-up

• Listen to an MP3 grab of me on the radio
• Buy a USB Turn Table (thanks Jackie Franklin at Firebox)
• Buy a Finger Drum or a USB massager (thanks Stephanie Prentice at Iwoot)
• Learn more about the Phill Jupitus Breakfast Show, including how to listen online.