Rob Manuel

B3tan Andrew Sheerin, once known for running early web favourite hairytongue.com, has in recent years turned to producing board games to earn a living.

Our theory is that he was traumatised as an adolescent and wants to retreat to the nostalgia of his 1970s childhood where Monopoly and Buckeroo were king and there was none of this frightening internet business.

First he brought us the War on Terror game, which he managed to manipulate into the papers via a cunning ruse of getting it seized by the rozzers. Really, Andy is like Hasbro run by Malcolm McLaren.

Look! That’s Andy on the left. He’s the singer. The other two play both play drums. That’s two drummers, like the Glitter band.

So Andy got in touch a few weeks back and asks us if we’ll tell people about his new card game in the B3ta newsletter. Out of the sheer goodness of our hearts we’ve complied.

Look carefully, this is actually sitting on this album and it’s not even out yet.

And it’s not just an empty box - there’s stuff in it

COMPO TIME

So, go on, we want YOU to write an amusing answer to “Why did the chicken cross the road?” in 20 words or less and the funniest 10 answers (according to The Magic Donkey) will win PRIZES.

Stick your tiebreaker replies in the box below saying “leave a reply”. Closing date? 8pm, 23rd April 2009.

I’ve been asked to make a game and keep a diary for E4 - first bit launched today. Read it here and see the feedback on b3ta.

Thanks to Joel Veitch for redesigning my diagram into something MUCH ruder.

BTW: Are you a PHP coder who can bash me out a quick script? I need help with this game and will reward you with a mighty b3ta pen. - Have someone to help now, thanks

Word up cyberfruits, it’s compo time.

Mr Biffo, probably best known for writing the cult Digitiser pages on Teletext, has taken time out from his hectic schedule to write a book.

It’s basically a collection of chatroom transcripts where Biffo pretends to be a lady, and winds up men hungry for the sexing.

Clicky the book to read the reviews on Amazon.

And in the interests of self publicity he’s emailed B3ta and asked us to help him pimp it, and so, your challenge is this:

What would you like Mr Biffo to draw?

The most amusing five suggestions will be drawn by the fair - if not girly - hand of Biffo, inside his book and sent to YOU. Yes, to YOU, dear reader.

Add your suggestions to the comments below. Well, if you fancy getting a copy of the book that is. If not, then quietly go on your way.

WINNERS ANNOUNCED

The horrified face of Gordon Brown as he sits down at the big desk for his first day as PM, only to find a big poo in the PM’s private pencil case. (mrdirtylegs)

Pirates milking a giraffe. (Zo)

The Greatest Game Ever Played. (Digeridude)

A shortened Bayeux Tapestry with a naked Harold. (Kelly)

A brand new knife and wife thing. (doveston)

So thanks to everyone who made suggestions, and to Mr Biffo for being a good sport. Books will be winging their way to the winners shortly.