B3tan Andrew Sheerin, once known for running early web favourite hairytongue.com, has in recent years turned to producing board games to earn a living.
Our theory is that he was traumatised as an adolescent and wants to retreat to the nostalgia of his 1970s childhood where Monopoly and Buckeroo were king and there was none of this frightening internet business.
First he brought us the War on Terror game, which he managed to manipulate into the papers via a cunning ruse of getting it seized by the rozzers. Really, Andy is like Hasbro run by Malcolm McLaren.
Look! That’s Andy on the left. He’s the singer. The other two play both play drums. That’s two drummers, like the Glitter band.
So Andy got in touch a few weeks back and asks us if we’ll tell people about his new card game in the B3ta newsletter. Out of the sheer goodness of our hearts we’ve complied.
Look carefully, this is actually sitting on this album and it’s not even out yet.
And it’s not just an empty box – there’s stuff in it
COMPO TIME
So, go on, we want YOU to write an amusing answer to “Why did the chicken cross the road?” in 20 words or less and the funniest 10 answers (according to The Magic Donkey) will win PRIZES.
Stick your tiebreaker replies in the box below saying “leave a reply”. Closing date? 8pm, 23rd April 2009.
Because Gordon Brown was walking quickly towards him in one direction, and Barack bloody Obama’s dog in the other. Under the wheels of a car was the safest place for him at that time.
After hearing all roads lead to Rome, he was trying to avoid the earthquake
To the chicken the road was merely a state of mind. He had to overcome that before he could overcome the inner turmoil that racked him within.
Jade Goody’s Tumor!!!!! Damn i’m too late arn’t i….bugger.
because it was stapled to a punk
Obviously, the chicken crossed the road to win a copy for me of Crunch: The Card Game.
I dont know why.
I just want a free game.
Because he couldn’t fly over.
To avoid the constant jibes about his inability to produce funny jokes.
Because the perceived environmental benefits (nutrition, water, microclimate) of the side of the road other than that previously occupied by the chicken outweighed the experienced benefits of the default state, by a qualitative amount greater than the time, energy and risk associated with crossing the road.
why not?
Why shouldnt the chicken cross the road?
maybe did it to make humans ask daft questions. :)
Because all this side of the road are belong to us
“What Road”
the chicken went across the road
Because she heard the rooster crowing on the other side.
Because it saw the zebra crossing.
To get to “Job Seekers” after he had been made redundant from Featherworths.
Because it’s feathery ass was on fire!
For some fowl reason
Because sexy mother hen was on the other side under the street light flashing her boobies at him. ;-)
to shit on and climb over fresh feathered backs.
Because she knew that eventually the road was going to cross her.
1) To help the little old lady…
2) 3 dollar black jack
3) 10 dollar lap dances
4) The signal turned green
5) Some guy in a van was offering free puppies and candy…
For 20 Bensons and a copy of The Sun. Oh, and a pint of milk while you’re there chuck.
As the shit outside Woolies was unpassable…
To get his pension, because like him, this joke is ancient!
Because he didn’t dare cross the narrow strip of pavement.
He’d heard it was a cyclepath.
It had no choice, it was being cruelly exploited to publicise a competition to win a new card game.
Well, actually according to quantum physics, the chicken is everywhere in the universe at a point in time, so he didn’t need to cross the road.
Because despite the traffic, it was a much better option than trying to cross the river…
…give me your fucking game.
To try and loose the CIA agents that were tailing him.
Nobody knows – but it probably has something to do with a crudely-drawn cock.
…to peck at the eyes of a banker lying dead in a ditch.
Because it wanted to be a meme
CAUSE CHUCK NORRIS SAID SO!
(though i haven’t knowingly plageurised this “joke” i freely admit i am probably not the first person to come up with it)
the chicken lives on the other side of the road but the chicken had just been to the shop on this side of the road to get some biscuits because the chicken had run out of biscuits and now the chicken was going back home to enjoy a nice cup of tea and some biscuits. or something.
He did, and did not cross the road, for he was in Schrödinger lane.
She only went halfway. She wanted to lay it on the line after all.
But she chickened out. Wasn’t up to scratch.
Because it wanted to suck cock
To get to the other cider
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because you’re a cunt.
-thumbman
To show his friends he had guts.
What´s a roadddd {Kaput}???
To get into position to cross the road…
To win a copy of Crunch: the Card game.
To avoid the cops. Oh no, too late. Bam! Take that you little fucker.
To win a copy of a satirical card game, to which he was inextricably (and rather confusingly) bound.
to Ease Quantatively
It is OBVIOUS that the chicken never CROSSED the road. The CIA, together with the CORRUPR BUSH ADMINISTRATION faked the so-called “evidence” about the road crossing to cover up the ZIONIST CONSPIRACY that have made AMERICA the place it is today. DONT BELIEVE THE MEDIA. There was NO ROAD, the road was planted after the fact by the BUSH ADMINISTRATION to discredit GOD FEARING CHICKEN all across our land. The whole thing was FUNDED BY THE JEWISH BANKING CARTEL that then engineered the collapse of the WORLD (ZIONIST/TRILATERAL COMMISION CONTROLLED) economy to cover there tracks. Has anyone found any EVIDENCE of this? No – thats how GOOD they are. Even the CHICKEN will not talk – he does not want to be sent to GITMO along with the other WHISTE BLOWERS. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!