Newsletter co-editor Dave, and his tiny Beadle hand.
Word up cyber-fruits. I’ve got a history lesson for you. Back in 2001 I met a bloke called Andy Sheerin, who was making a more than a little noise with his Hairy Tongue site, collecting together hundreds of rather naughty photoshops of Jamie Oliver.
Great stuff, and as we were hunting for ideas for the B3ta at the time, and we went, “Aha! We could run a photoshop competition and we could pick a different Jamie Oliver every week. It would be ace!”
This idea worked well, our photoshop competitions made our website notorious, and so props to Andy for giving us the steer on that one.
Fast forward a few years and Andy has fallen off my radar a bit, we get the odd email saying he’s working in the corporate sector and he misses the old days, but nothing that we can really tell our readers about.
Then, comes the magic day and Andy emails us asking to buy a “sponsored link”, i.e. the top bit of the newsletter which we pimp out to anyone prepared to give us cash really, he tell us that he and his friend Andy T are working on a board game that’s going to cause a lot of trouble.
Andy’s game, you see, is basically a re-working of the classic “Risk” but updated for modern times, with terrorists. A satirical view of the war on terror, if you will.
Anyway, to really fast forward now (missing out the bits about appearing in The Sun newspaper and getting into trouble at toy fairs), we got a finally got a copy of the game, and we figured the only right thing to do would be to put together a little competition to allow our readers to get their hands on one without paying out their hard earned cash.
The game also comes with a free rapist hat. Here’s me wearing it earlier.
Anyway, we obviously need a tie-breaker to win one of the three copies we’ve got to give away.
Complete this phrase in 15 words or less: “George W. Bush is a …”
And of course, if you fancy buying the game without chancing your arm on a web-lotto then pop over to waronterrortheboardgame.com
BTW: Dave has stolen the review copy from B3ta HQ on the pretext, “It’s really good, and will save me £££ buying my brother a present this Christmas.” Or maybe he wants the balaclava to liven up his sex-life? Surely not!
And for those having trouble hearing at the back, complete this phrase in 15 words or less: “George W. Bush is a …”
George Bush is probably not very good at this game.
George Bush is a-hopin’ to win ‘War On Terror’ so he can win the War On Terror.
George Bush is a bush, named George.
George W. Bush is sweet little man who would make a excellent family pet. Just keep him on a lead for fucks sake!
George W. Bush is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an ape costume.
George W. Bush is a drunk, war-mongering, buggy-eyed plum. And a cunt, obviously.
CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT.
P.S. The above is a genuine competition entry, not just cunt-ridden comment spam. Honest.
George Bush is a fine American leaderer.
….. was also tempted with fuckwit and knobjockey.
George Bush is a man who never lets incompetence stand in the way of dreams.
George Bush is a god.
Namely a retarded, inbred version of Ares, the god of War and (apparently) dumbfuckery.
George Bush is about to bomb you for ripping-off his game.
George Bush
Is a
Vile
Extraterrestrial
Mongoose
Eating a
Time
Hole in
Earth that will
Penetrate your
Rear
In which
Zebras will be the only ones left to
Exist
George W. Bush is a homo-erotic name I have for my girlfriends minge.
George w. Bush is a brain in a jar, without the brain.
President George W. Bush is an anagram of my to-do list: “Do sister; bugger nephew”.
George Bush is a sociopathic, illiterate, incoherent, redneck husk of a man, and he’s still more famous than you.
george w. bush is cool…
sorry, did i say cool?
my mistake, i meant fucking shit.
George W. Bush is a great reason to play the terrorists in this game.
George W. Bush is American, and drops the US average IQ by about 15 points merely by existing.
George W. Bush is a very naughty boy who is trying too hard to please his Daddy.
George W. Bush is a “Cunty Cunt Cunt, Cuntflappy Cuntorama, Cuntist Cunty Cunt Cunt, Cunterised Cuntworth Cuntsworthy Cuntomatic Cuntovision CUNT”
George W. Bush is a… delightful, charming, intelligent, witty politician who obviously knows what’s best for everybody. Obviously.
George Bush is a medical condition pertaining to the pubic hair of a female human.
George W. Bush is a hilarious Sacha Baron Cohen character, zanier than Ali G and Borat put together!
George W. Bush is awackawackawackawackawackawackawoo chicka chicka chicka boo chicka wackawacka woo
“George W. Bush is a fricking genius”
Google Suggest bothers me; though the status quo is somewhat addressed by “George W. Bush is a spectacular twunt”
George W. Bush is a lways being picked on by you FACELESS internet bullies, and probably cries a LOAD when he gets home after working long and thankless hours. :~
George W. Bush is a Cunt
G W Bush is an enemy of humanity, freedom, all non-Illuminati humans. Utterer of lies, sub-human dog.
Cleansing time ?
G W Bush is a top bloke, righteous upholder of freedom, holiness +the RIGHTFUL PRESIDENT.
(after the chat with FIMA)
George Bush is a rock. Long live paper and scissors
George Bush is Al-Qaeda employee of the month
George W. Bush is a lovely chap, who is utterly and brillianty intelligent. he takes good care of the world and is always ready to save human lives in faraway countries like iraq or africa. Surely you all love him too?
George W. Bush is a living proof that anal intercourse can lead to unwanted pregnancies too.
George W. Bush is an unknowing network hub between evil thinkers, rich investers and the powerfull pentagon.
George Bush, its an acctual bush that is native to south america
George W. Bush is my Besht Mate
Signed Osama
“George Bush is my Hero.”
Tony Blair
George W Bush can’t shit until he removes Tony Blairs tounge.
George W Bush is a reptilian humanoid
George W Bush is A…
Tony Blair is B…
Osama Bin Laden is Z.
George W. Bush is a reincarnation of Adolf Hitler!
George Bush is a lanky streak of pelican shit.
in verse…
george w bush set a President’s precedent, for being the White House’s most unpopular resident..
muslim
George W Bush is a small deformed robo-repltialian monstersauraus coverd in jam licking me.
George W Bush is a perfect example of why the arms industry should never be allowed to control a country.
George W. Bush is an example of why silly little children shouldn’t be allowed to play with daddy’s toys.
George Bush is a twunt!