War on Terror boardgame competition
Newsletter co-editor Dave, and his tiny Beadle hand.
Word up cyber-fruits. I’ve got a history lesson for you. Back in 2001 I met a bloke called Andy Sheerin, who was making a more than a little noise with his Hairy Tongue site, collecting together hundreds of rather naughty photoshops of Jamie Oliver.
Great stuff, and as we were hunting for ideas for the B3ta at the time, and we went, “Aha! We could run a photoshop competition and we could pick a different Jamie Oliver every week. It would be ace!”
This idea worked well, our photoshop competitions made our website notorious, and so props to Andy for giving us the steer on that one.
Fast forward a few years and Andy has fallen off my radar a bit, we get the odd email saying he’s working in the corporate sector and he misses the old days, but nothing that we can really tell our readers about.
Then, comes the magic day and Andy emails us asking to buy a “sponsored link”, i.e. the top bit of the newsletter which we pimp out to anyone prepared to give us cash really, he tell us that he and his friend Andy T are working on a board game that’s going to cause a lot of trouble.
Andy’s game, you see, is basically a re-working of the classic “Risk” but updated for modern times, with terrorists. A satirical view of the war on terror, if you will.
Anyway, to really fast forward now (missing out the bits about appearing in The Sun newspaper and getting into trouble at toy fairs), we got a finally got a copy of the game, and we figured the only right thing to do would be to put together a little competition to allow our readers to get their hands on one without paying out their hard earned cash.
The game also comes with a free rapist hat. Here’s me wearing it earlier.
Anyway, we obviously need a tie-breaker to win one of the three copies we’ve got to give away.
Complete this phrase in 15 words or less: “George W. Bush is a …”
And of course, if you fancy buying the game without chancing your arm on a web-lotto then pop over to waronterrortheboardgame.com
BTW: Dave has stolen the review copy from B3ta HQ on the pretext, “It’s really good, and will save me £££ buying my brother a present this Christmas.” Or maybe he wants the balaclava to liven up his sex-life? Surely not!
And for those having trouble hearing at the back, complete this phrase in 15 words or less: “George W. Bush is a …”
George W. Bush is a transsexual girlscout cookie molester.
George W. Bush is a mindless puppet being used by the facist U.S. government to take over the world.
George W. Bush is made of clockwork and run by ants.
George W. Bush is a secret lemonade drinker. R Whites. R Whites.
“George W. Bush is a …”
Chimpanzee
there, one word. :-)
George w. Bush is a plant, a known weed and thrives on oil based fertiliser.
George W Bush is a brilliant president, a man of progress and a fantastic leader.
George W Bush is an anagram of ‘He buggers – ow!’
George W. Bush is a Republican who is in the minority.
George W Bush is an exciting new drink from the makers of Republicola.
George W Bush is ….. Your secret lovechild
George W. Bush is a rather effective paper-weight.
George W. Bush is a cybernetic units neuron tester (C.U.N.T) :O)
i forgot to put the A in my last one
George W Bush is a defective clone of a horses swollen rectum
George W. Bush is an example
Of what is characterised
As the banality of evil.
George W. Bush wants to bum Jonti Picking because…
George W. Bush is a father to Jenna Bush… who I’d quite like to fuck. That’s all.
George W. Bush is a
Animal Fucking
Bitch-slapped
Cock pocket that
Does
Evil
Fornication with
Goat and
Horse’s
Insides with
Jump
Kicks while
Licking
Mom’s
Naugty
Orifice then
Penetrating the
Queen’s
Rear after
Sodomizing
The
Useless
Vicar
With
Xenophobic
Yellow drippings at the
Zoo.
“George W. Bush is a really top bloke, has any one seen my pills?”
George W. Bush is a saddle sniffer.
George W. Bush is a shameful bed-wetter. Also he’s dumb.
George W. Bush is a new US Government controlled robot, version 2.0; dumber than the Al Gore version, but more life-like.
“Horehey Dub-ya Bush
loves eating lemony bees.
That is all there is.”
Now with more haiku.
George W. Bush is a small shrub just outside Leominster.
George W. Bush is a gaping, weeping, lubed up rectum cavity of American society. God Bless America.
George W Bush is a bit thick really. No, honestly :)
George W. Bush is a military genius, if a little misunderstood…
George W. Bush is two slices of bread short of a sandwich
George W. Bush is a NONSENSE!
George Bush is a style of bikini waxing, gaining popularity in Latvia
George W. Bush is a Giant Egomaniac, Openly Ranting Grand Empty Wishes, But Useless Stupid Head (of state).
George W. Bush is a really nice chap and never did nobody no harm ever.
Signed,
T. Blairs, MP, The Right Honourable The Prime Minister
the saviour of the modern world, gibber, gibber, guava, hatstand, parrafin.
George W. Bush is not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!
George W. Bush is a president
He comes from Florida where he’s resident
He used a rigged vote
Tony Blair licks his scrote
We hold these truths to be self evident
George W Bush is a non-autonomous robot construct controlled by a super villain from a secret bunker in antarctica
George W. Bush is a little concerned that anal cream is out of stock at the pharmacy.
George W. Bush is a freely elected president, chosen by the people. Twice. Apparantly.
George W. Bush is a jar of mayonnaise receiving phallic transmissions from Kerfunkulus, Lord of the rice cakes.
George W. Bush is a … seriously misoverestimated president.
George Bush is a lovely man and I would have a lamb lunch with him any day.
cunt!
George Bush is an ochre skidmark on the Y fronts of life.
George W. Bush is a man who can’t count to fifteen. So he can’t enter this competition.
George W Bush is a prime example of the shortcomings of a competition where fifteen words or less must suffice.
George Bush is an earth-and-humanity-destroying cum-swallowing yahoo cowboy inbred wiseacre.
George W. Bush is a fine name for a cunt, the exquisite irony is not lost on me
George W. Bush is a figment of our collective imaginations, he is not the president we are looking for
… is a 10 legged bulgarian cocaine farmer. He is married to a tin of reconstituted pork meat called Lydia. He also plays the nose flute in the National orchestra of Bulgaria (N.O.B).
George W. Bush is a representation of the anti-Jimmy Savile. None of the fixing and no Iraqi cub scouts.