War on Terror boardgame competition

game.jpg
Newsletter co-editor Dave, and his tiny Beadle hand.

Word up cyber-fruits. I’ve got a history lesson for you. Back in 2001 I met a bloke called Andy Sheerin, who was making a more than a little noise with his Hairy Tongue site, collecting together hundreds of rather naughty photoshops of Jamie Oliver.

Great stuff, and as we were hunting for ideas for the B3ta at the time, and we went, “Aha! We could run a photoshop competition and we could pick a different Jamie Oliver every week. It would be ace!”

This idea worked well, our photoshop competitions made our website notorious, and so props to Andy for giving us the steer on that one.

Fast forward a few years and Andy has fallen off my radar a bit, we get the odd email saying he’s working in the corporate sector and he misses the old days, but nothing that we can really tell our readers about.

Then, comes the magic day and Andy emails us asking to buy a “sponsored link”, i.e. the top bit of the newsletter which we pimp out to anyone prepared to give us cash really, he tell us that he and his friend Andy T are working on a board game that’s going to cause a lot of trouble.

Andy’s game, you see, is basically a re-working of the classic “Risk” but updated for modern times, with terrorists. A satirical view of the war on terror, if you will.

Anyway, to really fast forward now (missing out the bits about appearing in The Sun newspaper and getting into trouble at toy fairs), we got a finally got a copy of the game, and we figured the only right thing to do would be to put together a little competition to allow our readers to get their hands on one without paying out their hard earned cash.

The game also comes with a free rapist hat. Here’s me wearing it earlier.

rapist.jpg

Anyway, we obviously need a tie-breaker to win one of the three copies we’ve got to give away.
Complete this phrase in 15 words or less: “George W. Bush is a …”

And of course, if you fancy buying the game without chancing your arm on a web-lotto then pop over to waronterrortheboardgame.com

BTW: Dave has stolen the review copy from B3ta HQ on the pretext, “It’s really good, and will save me £££ buying my brother a present this Christmas.” Or maybe he wants the balaclava to liven up his sex-life? Surely not!

And for those having trouble hearing at the back, complete this phrase in 15 words or less: “George W. Bush is a …”

151 Responses to “War on Terror boardgame competition”

  1. Grampa Says:

    George W. Bush is a transsexual girlscout cookie molester.

  2. Philosophacles Says:

    George W. Bush is a mindless puppet being used by the facist U.S. government to take over the world.

  3. Boondocks Says:

    George W. Bush is made of clockwork and run by ants.

  4. Leningrad Says:

    George W. Bush is a secret lemonade drinker. R Whites. R Whites.

  5. TBL Says:

    “George W. Bush is a …”

    Chimpanzee

    there, one word. :-)

  6. BargeArse Says:

    George w. Bush is a plant, a known weed and thrives on oil based fertiliser.

  7. Sir Sand Goblin Says:

    George W Bush is a brilliant president, a man of progress and a fantastic leader.

  8. Leningrad Says:

    George W Bush is an anagram of ‘He buggers - ow!’

  9. gaijincory Says:

    George W. Bush is a Republican who is in the minority.

  10. Curis Says:

    George W Bush is an exciting new drink from the makers of Republicola.

  11. johno say the chances etc Says:

    George W Bush is ….. Your secret lovechild

  12. Cashy Says:

    George W. Bush is a rather effective paper-weight.

  13. rev jesse custard Says:

    George W. Bush is a cybernetic units neuron tester (C.U.N.T) :O)

  14. johno say the chances etc Says:

    i forgot to put the A in my last one

    George W Bush is a defective clone of a horses swollen rectum

  15. postbear Says:

    George W. Bush is an example
    Of what is characterised
    As the banality of evil.

  16. the_man361 Says:

    George W. Bush wants to bum Jonti Picking because…

  17. DickieDoesDallas Says:

    George W. Bush is a father to Jenna Bush… who I’d quite like to fuck. That’s all.

  18. Art101 Says:

    George W. Bush is a
    Animal Fucking
    Bitch-slapped
    Cock pocket that
    Does
    Evil
    Fornication with
    Goat and
    Horse’s
    Insides with
    Jump
    Kicks while
    Licking
    Mom’s
    Naugty
    Orifice then
    Penetrating the
    Queen’s
    Rear after
    Sodomizing
    The
    Useless
    Vicar
    With
    Xenophobic
    Yellow drippings at the
    Zoo.

  19. Zank Says:

    “George W. Bush is a really top bloke, has any one seen my pills?”

  20. SurfPunk Says:

    George W. Bush is a saddle sniffer.

  21. Hungry Joe Says:

    George W. Bush is a shameful bed-wetter. Also he’s dumb.

  22. Houdini Teresa Says:

    George W. Bush is a new US Government controlled robot, version 2.0; dumber than the Al Gore version, but more life-like.

  23. The If Says:

    “Horehey Dub-ya Bush
    loves eating lemony bees.
    That is all there is.”

    Now with more haiku.

  24. Sir Dave the Hat Says:

    George W. Bush is a small shrub just outside Leominster.

  25. mugatu Says:

    George W. Bush is a gaping, weeping, lubed up rectum cavity of American society. God Bless America.

  26. Jeccy Says:

    George W Bush is a bit thick really. No, honestly :)

  27. PussyHunter Says:

    George W. Bush is a military genius, if a little misunderstood…

  28. Coast of Yemen Says:

    George W. Bush is two slices of bread short of a sandwich

  29. Geoff the Clownfish Says:

    George W. Bush is a NONSENSE!

  30. Nick Says:

    George Bush is a style of bikini waxing, gaining popularity in Latvia

  31. pdjpdj Says:

    George W. Bush is a Giant Egomaniac, Openly Ranting Grand Empty Wishes, But Useless Stupid Head (of state).

  32. Tony Blairs Says:

    George W. Bush is a really nice chap and never did nobody no harm ever.

    Signed,

    T. Blairs, MP, The Right Honourable The Prime Minister

  33. Thor_sonofodin Says:

    the saviour of the modern world, gibber, gibber, guava, hatstand, parrafin.

  34. Aphex Says:

    George W. Bush is not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!

  35. Aphex Says:

    George W. Bush is a president
    He comes from Florida where he’s resident
    He used a rigged vote
    Tony Blair licks his scrote
    We hold these truths to be self evident

  36. Fenristhewolf Says:

    George W Bush is a non-autonomous robot construct controlled by a super villain from a secret bunker in antarctica

  37. Bodphrah Says:

    George W. Bush is a little concerned that anal cream is out of stock at the pharmacy.

  38. SeasonTicketless Says:

    George W. Bush is a freely elected president, chosen by the people. Twice. Apparantly.

  39. Crunchy-nut Hacksaw Says:

    George W. Bush is a jar of mayonnaise receiving phallic transmissions from Kerfunkulus, Lord of the rice cakes.

  40. Daniel Says:

    George W. Bush is a … seriously misoverestimated president.

  41. Tom Elswood Says:

    George Bush is a lovely man and I would have a lamb lunch with him any day.

  42. TaxiFromAfrika Says:

    cunt!

  43. Jarvis Says:

    George Bush is an ochre skidmark on the Y fronts of life.

  44. Afinkawan Says:

    George W. Bush is a man who can’t count to fifteen. So he can’t enter this competition.

  45. finnbar Says:

    George W Bush is a prime example of the shortcomings of a competition where fifteen words or less must suffice.

  46. bobby ganola Says:

    George Bush is an earth-and-humanity-destroying cum-swallowing yahoo cowboy inbred wiseacre.

  47. Christopher Says:

    George W. Bush is a fine name for a cunt, the exquisite irony is not lost on me

  48. James Etherington Says:

    George W. Bush is a figment of our collective imaginations, he is not the president we are looking for

  49. Elliott Baker Says:

    … is a 10 legged bulgarian cocaine farmer. He is married to a tin of reconstituted pork meat called Lydia. He also plays the nose flute in the National orchestra of Bulgaria (N.O.B).

  50. Spam Filter Says:

    George W. Bush is a representation of the anti-Jimmy Savile. None of the fixing and no Iraqi cub scouts.

  51. Chris Rawlinson Says:

    George Bush is probably not very good at this game.

  52. soulpow3r Says:

    George Bush is a-hopin’ to win ‘War On Terror’ so he can win the War On Terror.

  53. Leo Tibi Says:

    George Bush is a bush, named George.

  54. Letum Says:

    George W. Bush is sweet little man who would make a excellent family pet. Just keep him on a lead for fucks sake!

  55. RobS Says:

    George W. Bush is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an ape costume.

  56. Ste of the dump Says:

    George W. Bush is a drunk, war-mongering, buggy-eyed plum. And a cunt, obviously.

  57. Iain Says:

    CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT.

  58. Iain Says:

    P.S. The above is a genuine competition entry, not just cunt-ridden comment spam. Honest.

  59. Dinga Says:

    George Bush is a fine American leaderer.

    ….. was also tempted with fuckwit and knobjockey.

  60. Dinga Says:

    George Bush is a man who never lets incompetence stand in the way of dreams.

  61. A-sen Says:

    George Bush is a god.

    Namely a retarded, inbred version of Ares, the god of War and (apparently) dumbfuckery.

  62. goat Says:

    George Bush is about to bomb you for ripping-off his game.

  63. Smirt Says:

    George Bush
    Is a
    Vile
    Extraterrestrial

    Mongoose
    Eating a

    Time
    Hole in
    Earth that will

    Penetrate your
    Rear
    In which
    Zebras will be the only ones left to
    Exist

  64. The Guv'nor Says:

    George W. Bush is a homo-erotic name I have for my girlfriends minge.

  65. Professor_M Says:

    George w. Bush is a brain in a jar, without the brain.

  66. giant_squid Says:

    President George W. Bush is an anagram of my to-do list: “Do sister; bugger nephew”.

  67. Twirly Says:

    George Bush is a sociopathic, illiterate, incoherent, redneck husk of a man, and he’s still more famous than you.

  68. tuckshop Says:

    george w. bush is cool…
    sorry, did i say cool?
    my mistake, i meant fucking shit.

  69. Slightly Askew Says:

    George W. Bush is a great reason to play the terrorists in this game.

  70. Gordon Mackenzie Says:

    George W. Bush is American, and drops the US average IQ by about 15 points merely by existing.

  71. Steve Fung Says:

    George W. Bush is a very naughty boy who is trying too hard to please his Daddy.

  72. Lee Says:

    George W. Bush is a “Cunty Cunt Cunt, Cuntflappy Cuntorama, Cuntist Cunty Cunt Cunt, Cunterised Cuntworth Cuntsworthy Cuntomatic Cuntovision CUNT”

  73. Roy Stead Says:

    George W. Bush is a… delightful, charming, intelligent, witty politician who obviously knows what’s best for everybody. Obviously.

  74. Beve The Spaniard Says:

    George Bush is a medical condition pertaining to the pubic hair of a female human.

  75. Beve The Spaniard Says:

    George W. Bush is a hilarious Sacha Baron Cohen character, zanier than Ali G and Borat put together!

  76. Will Says:

    George W. Bush is awackawackawackawackawackawackawoo chicka chicka chicka boo chicka wackawacka woo

  77. Trev Says:

    “George W. Bush is a fricking genius”

    Google Suggest bothers me; though the status quo is somewhat addressed by “George W. Bush is a spectacular twunt”

  78. dodge Says:

    George W. Bush is a lways being picked on by you FACELESS internet bullies, and probably cries a LOAD when he gets home after working long and thankless hours. :~

  79. Emily Says:

    George W. Bush is a Cunt

  80. flow citizen Says:

    G W Bush is an enemy of humanity, freedom, all non-Illuminati humans. Utterer of lies, sub-human dog.
    Cleansing time ?

  81. flow citizen Says:

    G W Bush is a top bloke, righteous upholder of freedom, holiness +the RIGHTFUL PRESIDENT.
    (after the chat with FIMA)

  82. warmsky Says:

    George Bush is a rock. Long live paper and scissors

  83. Dan Says:

    George Bush is Al-Qaeda employee of the month

  84. Mr. Johnson Says:

    George W. Bush is a lovely chap, who is utterly and brillianty intelligent. he takes good care of the world and is always ready to save human lives in faraway countries like iraq or africa. Surely you all love him too?

  85. spottedbeetle Says:

    George W. Bush is a living proof that anal intercourse can lead to unwanted pregnancies too.

  86. Sim Says:

    George W. Bush is an unknowing network hub between evil thinkers, rich investers and the powerfull pentagon.

  87. MadamA Says:

    George Bush, its an acctual bush that is native to south america

  88. Ceebs Says:

    George W. Bush is my Besht Mate

    Signed Osama

  89. Mike D Says:

    “George Bush is my Hero.”
    Tony Blair

  90. LuftWaffle Says:

    George W Bush can’t shit until he removes Tony Blairs tounge.

  91. David Icke Says:

    George W Bush is a reptilian humanoid

  92. Cliff Says:

    George W Bush is A…
    Tony Blair is B…

    Osama Bin Laden is Z.

  93. Ron Says:

    George W. Bush is a reincarnation of Adolf Hitler!

  94. Carbon Says:

    George Bush is a lanky streak of pelican shit.

  95. ewe Says:

    in verse…

    george w bush set a President’s precedent, for being the White House’s most unpopular resident..

  96. Kris Wood Says:

    muslim

  97. City Wall Says:

    George W Bush is a small deformed robo-repltialian monstersauraus coverd in jam licking me.

  98. Mushroom Says:

    George W Bush is a perfect example of why the arms industry should never be allowed to control a country.

  99. Andrew Says:

    George W. Bush is an example of why silly little children shouldn’t be allowed to play with daddy’s toys.

  100. John Says:

    George Bush is a twunt!

  101. boris Says:

    George W. Bush is a human being stupid.

  102. son of spock Says:

    George W Bush is a monkey faced fuck hole war on terror stupid cunt machine.

  103. Ryan Says:

    George W. Bush is named after a cunt.

    (multiple meanings there! :-D )

  104. Jem Says:

    George W. Bush is a delightful citizen, if “fantastic” means “man juice guzzling bladder bucket”

  105. Jem Says:

    grrrrrr. let me do that again.

    George W. Bush is a delightful citizen, if “delightful” means “man juice guzzling bladder bucket”

  106. Mike Says:

    George W Bush don’t eat snacks no mo.

  107. Gavin Says:

    George W. Bush is a man with five syllables in his name like Mahatma Gandhi

  108. Zootius Says:

    George Bush is a CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
    Thank you, i feel better now.

  109. Ben Says:

    George W. Bush is an anagram of He Buggers, Ow

  110. Ben Says:

    Damn, Leningrad beat me.

  111. Bernie Says:

    George bush is… a good strong american fighting for all that is good. Yours, Director of General Motors.

  112. Sack the chimp Says:

    George W. Bush is an excellent advertisement for abortions…. and they say the Americans don’t get irony.

  113. James Cheminais Says:

    George W. Bush is a sexy bitch, who gives me the horn

  114. Ali Says:

    George W. Bush is a cunt.

  115. El_Lurkio Says:

    George W. Bush is against the axis of weebl

  116. David Clough Says:

    Person with feelings

  117. Fuiru Says:

    George W. Bush is David Blaine in a silly wig, doing one of his funny tricks to the nation.

  118. Zig Says:

    George W. Bush is the most successful terrorist yet.

  119. p3ta Says:

    George W. Bush is a fool for not endorsing this boardgame.

  120. Dougal Says:

    George W. Bush is a parrot my auntie had. She would feed it seeds and berries.

  121. Hagggismuncher Says:

    George W. Bush is a good-for-nothing muppet.

  122. loismustdie Says:

    George W. Bush is a really poor loser when playing ‘The war on terror’ … and not just the board game either. In fact he is just a poor loser. Well, probably not poor either, he’ll have a bob or two. Just a loser then!

  123. Felchman Says:

    George W. Bush is a warmongering moron.

  124. Sausageface Says:

    George W. Bush is an experimental performance artist. His real name is Alan Williams. He hopes you enjoyed the show.

  125. Russ Says:

    george bush is a….i dunno but my grandad died this week and my girlfriend left me.

  126. Terence and Philip Says:

    Georgr W Bush is an uncle fucker

  127. Michael J. Says:

    George Bush is a cute little bugger

  128. Sheikh Abu Hamza Says:

    George W Bush is Allah, and Blair is his prophet (P.S. don’t publish address, don’t want to die)

  129. Tom Says:

    George Bush is a….bout to give up on Iraq and invade Tiraq.

  130. bagpuss Says:

    …just another in a long line of arseholes who tell us suckers what to do

  131. JingleBells Says:

    George W. Bush is a better name for a child than “Unwanted, bitch said she was on the pill”

  132. Democracy Doesn't Work Says:

    George Dubbya Bush is a brilliant poster child for ‘terrorist’ recruitment everywhere.

  133. i12batree Says:

    George W. Bush is a corporate finger puppet

  134. Mark Says:

    George W Bush Jr is a deceptively clever man who’s managed to convinced everyone’s he’s a moron. Now THAT’s evil genius!

    15 words… 19 if you expand the apostrophes. Is that evil genius enough?

  135. Mark Says:

    Or
    George Bush is a patriot with the world’s largest nuclear arsenal and doesn’t care about what the world thinks.

    for truth

  136. Gordon Says:

    George Bush is a sex case!

  137. Sean Says:

    George W Bush is an anagram of “OW! He Buggers!”

    It’s true, he does.

  138. Jon Says:

    George W. Bush is an anagram of “He grew bogus” and “Bugs go where?”

  139. andy crane Says:

    George W. Bush is a… really poor KKK member. Seriously look at the guilding on his hood. Pfftt amatuer.

  140. Lady Spacks Says:

    George W Bush is a type of cheese that grows on the sweaty ballbags of a morbidly obese biffer

  141. Dougal Says:

    Another one… George W. Bush is a member of Boney M

  142. JimmyJangles Says:

    George W Bush is what America deserves

  143. Pierre Says:

    George W Bush is a man, not a number.

  144. GSM Says:

    George Bush is an inept kitten molester (he cums before he’s even cracked the pelvis).

  145. ChocolateTampon Says:

    George W. Bush is a cunt!

  146. Mike Says:

    CNUT” please solve the anagram and win a free (Iraqi?)toaster

  147. Minky Says:

    George W. Bush is a merkin

  148. Robert Says:

    George Bush is a …..wait, who’s George Bush again?

  149. Hektor Hamulec Says:

    George Bush is a basoon.

  150. Ozemandias Says:

    George W. Bush is a rectum faced bucket of sex sores (tks Filthy, Rich and Catflap)

  151. NIk Says:

    I said that in 1990, I can’t believe someone else thought of it

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