War on Terror boardgame competition
Newsletter co-editor Dave, and his tiny Beadle hand.
Word up cyber-fruits. I’ve got a history lesson for you. Back in 2001 I met a bloke called Andy Sheerin, who was making a more than a little noise with his Hairy Tongue site, collecting together hundreds of rather naughty photoshops of Jamie Oliver.
Great stuff, and as we were hunting for ideas for the B3ta at the time, and we went, “Aha! We could run a photoshop competition and we could pick a different Jamie Oliver every week. It would be ace!”
This idea worked well, our photoshop competitions made our website notorious, and so props to Andy for giving us the steer on that one.
Fast forward a few years and Andy has fallen off my radar a bit, we get the odd email saying he’s working in the corporate sector and he misses the old days, but nothing that we can really tell our readers about.
Then, comes the magic day and Andy emails us asking to buy a “sponsored link”, i.e. the top bit of the newsletter which we pimp out to anyone prepared to give us cash really, he tell us that he and his friend Andy T are working on a board game that’s going to cause a lot of trouble.
Andy’s game, you see, is basically a re-working of the classic “Risk” but updated for modern times, with terrorists. A satirical view of the war on terror, if you will.
Anyway, to really fast forward now (missing out the bits about appearing in The Sun newspaper and getting into trouble at toy fairs), we got a finally got a copy of the game, and we figured the only right thing to do would be to put together a little competition to allow our readers to get their hands on one without paying out their hard earned cash.
The game also comes with a free rapist hat. Here’s me wearing it earlier.
Anyway, we obviously need a tie-breaker to win one of the three copies we’ve got to give away.
Complete this phrase in 15 words or less: “George W. Bush is a …”
And of course, if you fancy buying the game without chancing your arm on a web-lotto then pop over to waronterrortheboardgame.com
BTW: Dave has stolen the review copy from B3ta HQ on the pretext, “It’s really good, and will save me £££ buying my brother a present this Christmas.” Or maybe he wants the balaclava to liven up his sex-life? Surely not!
And for those having trouble hearing at the back, complete this phrase in 15 words or less: “George W. Bush is a …”
December 8th, 2006 at 2:18 am
George W. Bush is a transsexual girlscout cookie molester.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:18 am
George W. Bush is a mindless puppet being used by the facist U.S. government to take over the world.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:27 am
George W. Bush is made of clockwork and run by ants.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:28 am
George W. Bush is a secret lemonade drinker. R Whites. R Whites.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:29 am
“George W. Bush is a …”
Chimpanzee
there, one word.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:30 am
George w. Bush is a plant, a known weed and thrives on oil based fertiliser.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:32 am
George W Bush is a brilliant president, a man of progress and a fantastic leader.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:37 am
George W Bush is an anagram of ‘He buggers - ow!’
December 8th, 2006 at 2:40 am
George W. Bush is a Republican who is in the minority.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:41 am
George W Bush is an exciting new drink from the makers of Republicola.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:43 am
George W Bush is ….. Your secret lovechild
December 8th, 2006 at 2:45 am
George W. Bush is a rather effective paper-weight.
December 8th, 2006 at 2:46 am
George W. Bush is a cybernetic units neuron tester (C.U.N.T) :O)
December 8th, 2006 at 2:52 am
i forgot to put the A in my last one
George W Bush is a defective clone of a horses swollen rectum
December 8th, 2006 at 2:58 am
George W. Bush is an example
Of what is characterised
As the banality of evil.
December 8th, 2006 at 3:21 am
George W. Bush wants to bum Jonti Picking because…
December 8th, 2006 at 3:23 am
George W. Bush is a father to Jenna Bush… who I’d quite like to fuck. That’s all.
December 8th, 2006 at 3:38 am
George W. Bush is a
Animal Fucking
Bitch-slapped
Cock pocket that
Does
Evil
Fornication with
Goat and
Horse’s
Insides with
Jump
Kicks while
Licking
Mom’s
Naugty
Orifice then
Penetrating the
Queen’s
Rear after
Sodomizing
The
Useless
Vicar
With
Xenophobic
Yellow drippings at the
Zoo.
December 8th, 2006 at 3:45 am
“George W. Bush is a really top bloke, has any one seen my pills?”
December 8th, 2006 at 4:06 am
George W. Bush is a saddle sniffer.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:13 am
George W. Bush is a shameful bed-wetter. Also he’s dumb.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:35 am
George W. Bush is a new US Government controlled robot, version 2.0; dumber than the Al Gore version, but more life-like.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:56 am
“Horehey Dub-ya Bush
loves eating lemony bees.
That is all there is.”
Now with more haiku.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:04 am
George W. Bush is a small shrub just outside Leominster.
December 8th, 2006 at 7:03 am
George W. Bush is a gaping, weeping, lubed up rectum cavity of American society. God Bless America.
December 8th, 2006 at 8:00 am
George W Bush is a bit thick really. No, honestly
December 8th, 2006 at 8:21 am
George W. Bush is a military genius, if a little misunderstood…
December 8th, 2006 at 8:43 am
George W. Bush is two slices of bread short of a sandwich
December 8th, 2006 at 8:46 am
George W. Bush is a NONSENSE!
December 8th, 2006 at 8:50 am
George Bush is a style of bikini waxing, gaining popularity in Latvia
December 8th, 2006 at 8:53 am
George W. Bush is a Giant Egomaniac, Openly Ranting Grand Empty Wishes, But Useless Stupid Head (of state).
December 8th, 2006 at 9:01 am
George W. Bush is a really nice chap and never did nobody no harm ever.
Signed,
T. Blairs, MP, The Right Honourable The Prime Minister
December 8th, 2006 at 9:15 am
the saviour of the modern world, gibber, gibber, guava, hatstand, parrafin.
December 8th, 2006 at 9:25 am
George W. Bush is not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!
December 8th, 2006 at 9:28 am
George W. Bush is a president
He comes from Florida where he’s resident
He used a rigged vote
Tony Blair licks his scrote
We hold these truths to be self evident
December 8th, 2006 at 10:26 am
George W Bush is a non-autonomous robot construct controlled by a super villain from a secret bunker in antarctica
December 8th, 2006 at 1:29 pm
George W. Bush is a little concerned that anal cream is out of stock at the pharmacy.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:06 pm
George W. Bush is a freely elected president, chosen by the people. Twice. Apparantly.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:16 pm
George W. Bush is a jar of mayonnaise receiving phallic transmissions from Kerfunkulus, Lord of the rice cakes.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:20 pm
George W. Bush is a … seriously misoverestimated president.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:20 pm
George Bush is a lovely man and I would have a lamb lunch with him any day.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
cunt!
December 8th, 2006 at 4:27 pm
George Bush is an ochre skidmark on the Y fronts of life.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:33 pm
George W. Bush is a man who can’t count to fifteen. So he can’t enter this competition.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:47 pm
George W Bush is a prime example of the shortcomings of a competition where fifteen words or less must suffice.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
George Bush is an earth-and-humanity-destroying cum-swallowing yahoo cowboy inbred wiseacre.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:56 pm
George W. Bush is a fine name for a cunt, the exquisite irony is not lost on me
December 8th, 2006 at 4:57 pm
George W. Bush is a figment of our collective imaginations, he is not the president we are looking for
December 8th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
… is a 10 legged bulgarian cocaine farmer. He is married to a tin of reconstituted pork meat called Lydia. He also plays the nose flute in the National orchestra of Bulgaria (N.O.B).
December 8th, 2006 at 5:38 pm
George W. Bush is a representation of the anti-Jimmy Savile. None of the fixing and no Iraqi cub scouts.
December 8th, 2006 at 5:40 pm
George Bush is probably not very good at this game.
December 8th, 2006 at 5:43 pm
George Bush is a-hopin’ to win ‘War On Terror’ so he can win the War On Terror.
December 8th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
George Bush is a bush, named George.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:01 pm
George W. Bush is sweet little man who would make a excellent family pet. Just keep him on a lead for fucks sake!
December 8th, 2006 at 6:06 pm
George W. Bush is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an ape costume.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:22 pm
George W. Bush is a drunk, war-mongering, buggy-eyed plum. And a cunt, obviously.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:33 pm
CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:34 pm
P.S. The above is a genuine competition entry, not just cunt-ridden comment spam. Honest.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:36 pm
George Bush is a fine American leaderer.
….. was also tempted with fuckwit and knobjockey.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:38 pm
George Bush is a man who never lets incompetence stand in the way of dreams.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:50 pm
George Bush is a god.
Namely a retarded, inbred version of Ares, the god of War and (apparently) dumbfuckery.
December 8th, 2006 at 7:12 pm
George Bush is about to bomb you for ripping-off his game.
December 8th, 2006 at 7:14 pm
George Bush
Is a
Vile
Extraterrestrial
Mongoose
Eating a
Time
Hole in
Earth that will
Penetrate your
Rear
In which
Zebras will be the only ones left to
Exist
December 8th, 2006 at 8:19 pm
George W. Bush is a homo-erotic name I have for my girlfriends minge.
December 8th, 2006 at 8:53 pm
George w. Bush is a brain in a jar, without the brain.
December 8th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
President George W. Bush is an anagram of my to-do list: “Do sister; bugger nephew”.
December 8th, 2006 at 9:55 pm
George Bush is a sociopathic, illiterate, incoherent, redneck husk of a man, and he’s still more famous than you.
December 8th, 2006 at 9:57 pm
george w. bush is cool…
sorry, did i say cool?
my mistake, i meant fucking shit.
December 8th, 2006 at 10:55 pm
George W. Bush is a great reason to play the terrorists in this game.
December 9th, 2006 at 12:14 am
George W. Bush is American, and drops the US average IQ by about 15 points merely by existing.
December 9th, 2006 at 12:35 am
George W. Bush is a very naughty boy who is trying too hard to please his Daddy.
December 9th, 2006 at 1:00 am
George W. Bush is a “Cunty Cunt Cunt, Cuntflappy Cuntorama, Cuntist Cunty Cunt Cunt, Cunterised Cuntworth Cuntsworthy Cuntomatic Cuntovision CUNT”
December 9th, 2006 at 1:00 am
George W. Bush is a… delightful, charming, intelligent, witty politician who obviously knows what’s best for everybody. Obviously.
December 9th, 2006 at 1:03 am
George Bush is a medical condition pertaining to the pubic hair of a female human.
December 9th, 2006 at 1:05 am
George W. Bush is a hilarious Sacha Baron Cohen character, zanier than Ali G and Borat put together!
December 9th, 2006 at 1:10 am
George W. Bush is awackawackawackawackawackawackawoo chicka chicka chicka boo chicka wackawacka woo
December 9th, 2006 at 1:52 am
“George W. Bush is a fricking genius”
Google Suggest bothers me; though the status quo is somewhat addressed by “George W. Bush is a spectacular twunt”
December 9th, 2006 at 2:57 am
George W. Bush is a lways being picked on by you FACELESS internet bullies, and probably cries a LOAD when he gets home after working long and thankless hours. :~
December 9th, 2006 at 9:22 am
George W. Bush is a Cunt
December 9th, 2006 at 10:21 am
G W Bush is an enemy of humanity, freedom, all non-Illuminati humans. Utterer of lies, sub-human dog.
Cleansing time ?
December 9th, 2006 at 10:29 am
G W Bush is a top bloke, righteous upholder of freedom, holiness +the RIGHTFUL PRESIDENT.
(after the chat with FIMA)
December 9th, 2006 at 11:30 am
George Bush is a rock. Long live paper and scissors
December 9th, 2006 at 11:48 am
George Bush is Al-Qaeda employee of the month
December 9th, 2006 at 12:32 pm
George W. Bush is a lovely chap, who is utterly and brillianty intelligent. he takes good care of the world and is always ready to save human lives in faraway countries like iraq or africa. Surely you all love him too?
December 9th, 2006 at 12:40 pm
George W. Bush is a living proof that anal intercourse can lead to unwanted pregnancies too.
December 9th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
George W. Bush is an unknowing network hub between evil thinkers, rich investers and the powerfull pentagon.
December 9th, 2006 at 1:00 pm
George Bush, its an acctual bush that is native to south america
December 9th, 2006 at 1:09 pm
George W. Bush is my Besht Mate
Signed Osama
December 9th, 2006 at 2:38 pm
“George Bush is my Hero.”
Tony Blair
December 9th, 2006 at 3:44 pm
George W Bush can’t shit until he removes Tony Blairs tounge.
December 9th, 2006 at 3:58 pm
George W Bush is a reptilian humanoid
December 9th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
George W Bush is A…
Tony Blair is B…
Osama Bin Laden is Z.
December 9th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
George W. Bush is a reincarnation of Adolf Hitler!
December 9th, 2006 at 7:58 pm
George Bush is a lanky streak of pelican shit.
December 9th, 2006 at 8:32 pm
in verse…
george w bush set a President’s precedent, for being the White House’s most unpopular resident..
December 9th, 2006 at 8:35 pm
muslim
December 9th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
George W Bush is a small deformed robo-repltialian monstersauraus coverd in jam licking me.
December 10th, 2006 at 12:51 am
George W Bush is a perfect example of why the arms industry should never be allowed to control a country.
December 10th, 2006 at 1:07 am
George W. Bush is an example of why silly little children shouldn’t be allowed to play with daddy’s toys.
December 10th, 2006 at 1:21 am
George Bush is a twunt!
December 10th, 2006 at 1:28 am
George W. Bush is a human being stupid.
December 10th, 2006 at 9:35 am
George W Bush is a monkey faced fuck hole war on terror stupid cunt machine.
December 10th, 2006 at 12:15 pm
George W. Bush is named after a cunt.
(multiple meanings there!
)
December 10th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
George W. Bush is a delightful citizen, if “fantastic” means “man juice guzzling bladder bucket”
December 10th, 2006 at 2:03 pm
grrrrrr. let me do that again.
George W. Bush is a delightful citizen, if “delightful” means “man juice guzzling bladder bucket”
December 10th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
George W Bush don’t eat snacks no mo.
December 10th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
George W. Bush is a man with five syllables in his name like Mahatma Gandhi
December 10th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
George Bush is a CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
Thank you, i feel better now.
December 10th, 2006 at 7:43 pm
George W. Bush is an anagram of He Buggers, Ow
December 10th, 2006 at 7:45 pm
Damn, Leningrad beat me.
December 10th, 2006 at 8:56 pm
George bush is… a good strong american fighting for all that is good. Yours, Director of General Motors.
December 10th, 2006 at 9:01 pm
George W. Bush is an excellent advertisement for abortions…. and they say the Americans don’t get irony.
December 11th, 2006 at 12:12 am
George W. Bush is a sexy bitch, who gives me the horn
December 11th, 2006 at 1:20 pm
George W. Bush is a cunt.
December 11th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
George W. Bush is against the axis of weebl
December 11th, 2006 at 3:28 pm
Person with feelings
December 11th, 2006 at 8:27 pm
George W. Bush is David Blaine in a silly wig, doing one of his funny tricks to the nation.
December 11th, 2006 at 8:37 pm
George W. Bush is the most successful terrorist yet.
December 11th, 2006 at 9:43 pm
George W. Bush is a fool for not endorsing this boardgame.
December 11th, 2006 at 11:18 pm
George W. Bush is a parrot my auntie had. She would feed it seeds and berries.
December 12th, 2006 at 5:48 am
George W. Bush is a good-for-nothing muppet.
December 12th, 2006 at 11:27 am
George W. Bush is a really poor loser when playing ‘The war on terror’ … and not just the board game either. In fact he is just a poor loser. Well, probably not poor either, he’ll have a bob or two. Just a loser then!
December 12th, 2006 at 12:54 pm
George W. Bush is a warmongering moron.
December 12th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
George W. Bush is an experimental performance artist. His real name is Alan Williams. He hopes you enjoyed the show.
December 12th, 2006 at 7:58 pm
george bush is a….i dunno but my grandad died this week and my girlfriend left me.
December 12th, 2006 at 8:51 pm
Georgr W Bush is an uncle fucker
December 12th, 2006 at 8:51 pm
George Bush is a cute little bugger
December 12th, 2006 at 8:57 pm
George W Bush is Allah, and Blair is his prophet (P.S. don’t publish address, don’t want to die)
December 12th, 2006 at 10:44 pm
George Bush is a….bout to give up on Iraq and invade Tiraq.
December 13th, 2006 at 9:36 am
…just another in a long line of arseholes who tell us suckers what to do
December 13th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
George W. Bush is a better name for a child than “Unwanted, bitch said she was on the pill”
December 13th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
George Dubbya Bush is a brilliant poster child for ‘terrorist’ recruitment everywhere.
December 13th, 2006 at 2:31 pm
George W. Bush is a corporate finger puppet
December 13th, 2006 at 3:06 pm
George W Bush Jr is a deceptively clever man who’s managed to convinced everyone’s he’s a moron. Now THAT’s evil genius!
15 words… 19 if you expand the apostrophes. Is that evil genius enough?
December 13th, 2006 at 3:11 pm
Or
George Bush is a patriot with the world’s largest nuclear arsenal and doesn’t care about what the world thinks.
for truth
December 13th, 2006 at 5:08 pm
George Bush is a sex case!
December 13th, 2006 at 7:55 pm
George W Bush is an anagram of “OW! He Buggers!”
It’s true, he does.
December 13th, 2006 at 8:12 pm
George W. Bush is an anagram of “He grew bogus” and “Bugs go where?”
December 13th, 2006 at 8:23 pm
George W. Bush is a… really poor KKK member. Seriously look at the guilding on his hood. Pfftt amatuer.
December 13th, 2006 at 8:36 pm
George W Bush is a type of cheese that grows on the sweaty ballbags of a morbidly obese biffer
December 14th, 2006 at 12:49 pm
Another one… George W. Bush is a member of Boney M
December 14th, 2006 at 12:55 pm
George W Bush is what America deserves
December 14th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
George W Bush is a man, not a number.
December 15th, 2006 at 9:56 am
George Bush is an inept kitten molester (he cums before he’s even cracked the pelvis).
December 15th, 2006 at 2:49 pm
George W. Bush is a cunt!
December 19th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
CNUT” please solve the anagram and win a free (Iraqi?)toaster
December 27th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
George W. Bush is a merkin
January 8th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
George Bush is a …..wait, who’s George Bush again?
January 24th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
George Bush is a basoon.
January 25th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
George W. Bush is a rectum faced bucket of sex sores (tks Filthy, Rich and Catflap)
February 21st, 2007 at 1:22 pm
I said that in 1990, I can’t believe someone else thought of it