Rob Manuel

Back in the distant past (B3ta Newsletter 84) I asked our readers this:

Sometimes I fill this section of the newsletter with whimsey, sometimes bad jokes and sometimes nuggets of good ideas that I simply can’t be arsed to persue myself.

So imagine my (belated) surprise when B3ta boarder Account88888 got in touch to say he’d actually gone and made some and would I fancy giving away a few via the site?

Figuring this was a great opportunity to get some free scarfs for winter, how could I say no?

I thought long and hard about doing a fantastic photoshoot, and then thought, fuck it, I’ll just take a couple of snaps with them drapped around some old computers.

First off is a Scramble themed scarf, keeping a Cambridge Computers Z88 toasty and warm.

Secondly we’ve got a Space Invaders one making sure that the Spectrum +2 doesn’t get a cold interface this Christmas.

Anyway. I’ve got three to give away to B3ta readers. All you have to do is complete this exciting tie-breaker in 15 words or less and add it as a comment on this very blog post.

“I love 8-bit gaming because…”

And if you can’t be arsed with bollocks compos then maybe you’d like to buy one via B2D4.

WINNERS!

Yay, we’ve got three people that B2D4 reckon are the tops, and they’re getting a scarf each.

• I’ve never been called a n00b playing missile command… (soscynicalsohip)
• 10 REM SCARF COMPETITION HACK FOR INFINATE WARMTH
  20 POKE 0121,666
  30 SYS 2059
  RUN (monkeon)
• I love 8-bit gaming because thats where I learned that men love a girl who’s a computer nerd….but not one who can beat them every time. So a scarf would keep me warm on all those victorious yet lonely nights. (onlythegirl)

My old chum Joel Veitch has recently taken leave of his senses and turned from dodgy flash animation to the production of soft toys.

He sent me through a batch the other day and I was rather pleased to see, not only are they not shit, they actually are very nice indeed.

So I decided that B3ta readers should have a chance to win some, so I got on the blower and demanded free toys for the B3ta massive.

First off, you’ll probably want to see some photos, lovingly photographed by me in B3ta Towers. This one, for example, on the official B3ta shitter. (A toilet I’ve crapped in at least 3000 times, and I estimate that Jonti Picking has shat in it probably 500 times. Joel? He’s probably only pissed in it.)

Then I tried to get clever and make a tribute to the classic internet website, “bonsai kitten.”

And to finish off, why not have all Joel’s crew in my wifes handbag?

Anyway, to stand a chance of winning the little critters, I need you to complete this tie-breaker in 15 words or less.

“If I was Joel Veitch for the day I would…”

Add you entries to the comments section on this post. Winners will be announced on the 24th of Nov. Good luck.

BTW: If you would like to buy Joels toys without having to enter a pesky competition then you might want to look at his shop.

UPDATE: Winners! We’re all winners!

Right. I’ve picked the winners, basically on what amused me at 2 in the morning. Judges decision is final etc. So four of you get one lovely toy each.
If you was Joel Veitch for the day you would…

• RAPE THE QUEEN IN HER GAPING ANUS. (Noctu)
• murder every cunt that had ever crossed me in one glorious day of vengeance. (Ben)
• I’d have a cock! So masturbate till my cock blistered and my palms bled. Nice. (Ree)
• Treat the Mrs. to 8 seconds of love. Just the once. (Mong The Merciless Says)

I’ll be passing your email address onto Mrs Veitch so that she can send them out. Huzzah.