Comments on: 10 Reasons Modern Keyboards are Shit

By: Eloi

Eloi — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:24:34 +0000

You get +600 points for this post. So true.

By: johnw

johnw — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:15:37 +0000

My HP wireless keyboard is shiny black- I cannot see the keys clearly in anything but broad daylight (not that common in England at this time of the year). Also the white lettering is fading on the most used keys.
I will soon revert to a white, wired keyboard – why keep battery makers in work? Don’t mind the visible dirt as I have a supply of those wet wipes in the little room and a Dyson that could suck the the keys off an old Microsoft keyboard. (I do not have a trailer hitch…)
I agree about the nice UK enter key- we get a second one at bottom right too!
I suspect the big one, which has a back arrow, not “enter”, was lifted from the electric successor to the carriage return lever on Hemingway’s typewriter.
HP have rather spoilt this by putting the delete key between the big enter and page up/down keys. Good for a laugh, as Jonathan Ross would say.
Oh ****, it seems my mouse batteries are running out.

By: gryff

gryff — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 06:45:49 +0000

What about a Kinesis keyboard? I think it’s better than a usual desk with keys mapping as on fossilized type writers.

By: Neil

Neil — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:43:24 +0000

There is much to be said about shite keyboards. Err, modern keyboards.

I just purchased a £30 ms ergonomic keyboard and yes, I will stand by the crack-pipe toss pots and say it is a better experience, it is.. honest!. However, why have a zoom button? Furthermore, PrtScn doesn’t work for love nor money.

I think some serious neglect in which much innovation is needed is in the hair magnetism department. What or what causes hair to miraculously appear under your keys? It is horrifying!

Good points made mate, I can’t agree with your more.

By: muppet man

muppet man — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 16:08:46 +0000

It’s a shame that manufacturers insist on fixing something that isn’t broken, insist on re-inventing the keyboard, adding shit that I don’t want and moving keys who’s location is already hard-wired in my brain.
As a result, I’m forced to purchase crappy cheapo keyboards (made by a company who I assume don’t have the budget for pointless re-designs) who’s keys you have to batter the shit out of in order to type.
GG solving problems that don’t exist.

And wireless keyboards? I mean come on… are people tripping over this cable as it lies on their desk or something?
Give me a fucking break.

All I want is a good quality keyboard using the same layout that has been standard for years.
It just goes to show… the undiscerning consumer zombie sheep will buy whatever shit you put in front of them… just take away all the normal keyboards and people will HAVE to buy our shitty new designs.

By: David F

David F — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 21:33:12 +0000

Dear Rob Manuel,
Having just moved to the US, getting to grips with different keyboard layouts, I totally understand what your on about. Its so refreshing to here a Brit with a potty mouth! Your anger is my frustration too! I feel somehow vindicated, consoled almost in the knowledge that there are others out there with the same frustration. It grates me that I had to buy a US apple keyboard after I spilt the slightest bit of water on my UK version I brought with me, while cleaning the fucking piece of shit. If I had known my actions of care would lead to complete malfunction I would have rather taken it out the back and smashed it repeatedly on a kerb so I at least get some satisfaction. I hate this wank US keyboard, I might return it just for being a twat, that’s what I’ll say, most people don’t know what that is here, see if I get away with it? Anyone considered having a festival, bit like the burning man except we just all bring a keyboard and destroy it in an entertaining way, you know a family thing ;) Keep the anger alive.

By: nCipher

nCipher — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 03:37:49 +0000

You can disable any key you want if you dissassemble your keyboard and put a sticker on the circuit board, under the rubber part, at the key’s position. I did that with both windows keys. Now they physically don’t work anymore because the sticker prevents the conductive layer under the rubber from touching the circuit board terminals.

I also replaced little green LEDs for lock keys with super-bright 5 mm LEDs of 3 different colors. Now i don’t have to look directly on them to know which are on and which are off – i can tell by color!

I’m a programmer but i still like the enter key to be L-shaped. On my keyboard the button for \ and | is between left shift and Z. Entering | is easy because shift is right next to it. It’s logic because backslash is to the left of the lower row, and forward slash is to the right.

By: Aalaap

Aalaap — Thu, 03 May 2007 16:44:36 +0000

I used to review keyboards for Techtree.com where I had written a similar rant about the new Microsoft keyboards complete with the insert key size, F-lock, function key blocks and other problems. It's interesting to note that almost all the expensive, branded keyboards mess around with the standard layout and promise you something new and innovative, but the cheaper US$3 (yeah, Rs. 130) keyboards are actually perfectly standards compliant and work like a charm.

By: Furvert

Furvert — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 17:18:26 +0000

On I do hate is people mucking around with the Space Bar or replacing it with a horrible cheap bit of plastic, Little or no spring that sound like it’s broken when you use it (eurrrgh)

2 Shifts are requuired if you type a lot, other wise how would you enter a “!” with 1 hand.

The windows key and ‘Menu’ key on a modern keyboard are great when doing client support over the phone, then the muppets can click and press that button, for when saying, “Now let’s try clicking with the other button on the mouse over that file name.” isn’t plain English enough for them. but 99.99% of the time for personal use apart from the odd KEYB shortcut (I don’t mouse for the hell of it) it is a PITA.

Non standard insert blocks (ARRRGH) mine has the PRT|SCRL|PBRK keys on the top row and stupid power functions where they should be, I’ll just grab that window and *Poof* attempt Power down.

The Insert key is required, it is used to alter viewpoints in a lot of games :) and the insert block would then be called something different, and would look strange with 5 keys.

I had a tool ages ago that could link your num lock light to you HDD activity, unfortunately I use the numeric pad a lot, (I get to enter a lot of data) and that just got confuzzling

I had one KEYB that moved escape above the tab and moved the tick somewhere random, and put a propriety button that did crap all that I could find in it’s place, got used to the escape, but couldn’t stop my submarines engines and bring her straight and level without that key.

A good fungused keyboard is a big deterrent to unauthorised access. and I like cables the annoy the hell out of fems.

By: Reico

Reico — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 13:09:39 +0000

Though I agree with much of the comments above, I have used every key on the keyboard…

Scroll lock is application specific – the only use in windows know is in spreadsheets… for e.g. in Excel it locks the cursor position allowing you to scroll with the arrow keys and page down without losing your position. and in the linux terminal.

I use Pause in the windows Command Prompt to stop things flying by and in Games to go grab a drink.

I just wish the winKey would open the Menu in Linux… I have configured it to work that way but it should be standard.. and if the linux people dont wanna call in the winkey rename it to menukey or something.

The worst thing is the subtle layout differences (often regional diff)… more then once i’ve had to hunt down a key like the ‘/’ or single open quote on a friends keyboard.

and btw 2 Shift keys are gr8 for playing pinball.

And i like the MS natural keyboard… it grows on you the more you use it.